I volunteered to do a bridal shower for my friend's daughter who is getting married in May. Above are the invitations. I am quite pleased with how they turned out and with the fact that the design is my own. I usually copy ideas from my friend Jill, but this time, I did the design myself and I think I did a good job incorporating all of the wedding colors (4 is tough: black, white, forest green & lavender).
However, as I sit here putting the cards together on this quiet afternoon, I am shedding a few tears. I chose this stamp set for the invitations because it is one of my favorite. Perhaps I like it so much because I stamped this set with my Mother-in-law just weeks before she passed away unexpectedly. I am using the water color pencils she gave me. And I can't help but wish I could show her my card. I think she'd like it. And as I work, so many thoughts flood in. My mother-in-law's sister just passed away as well. Are they catching up right now? Is heaven filled with laughter and tears of joy and lots of hugs? I hope so. Why do we have to lose people? Yea, yea, it's all part of the plan, but it still hurts. And that hurt hits at funny moments - unexpectedly. It's almost Mary's birthday (April 16). She would be turning 69 - that's not even old and she's not here. Did David cry enough when he lost his mother? Is it bad for me to cry even though almost 5 years have passed? I hope not. This is just my way of reminding my self that I remember Mary and we all miss her - life isn't the same with her gone. And then I think of my own parents, of course. My Dad's brain bleed last summer has changed me permanently. I no longer take it for granted that my parents are still here and assume that they'll be here forever. My three closest friends from home (Julie, Laurel, & Kelly) have all lost their fathers. How that must ache for them. Do they just cry sometimes when a memory hits? I'm sure they do.
I do cry when a memory hits, and those memories come at the darndest times. Sometimes it's just hearing a song, or driving by a place that we used to visit. Other times, it's because I think how much Dad would love my kids. And yes, while I know that we'll see him again someday, it doesn't take away the sting of not being with him now.
ReplyDeleteI think it's so awesome that you have such a tender heart for your mom-in-law, and that you keep her memory close to you. You are, as I have always known, one amazing girl.
Unexpected moments, that's for sure. I don't think it's silly after 5 years or even more. Thanks for your post, I think it's touching. Your card turned out beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYes. Missing him--his physical presence--is a hole in my soul that will never fill, and I am reminded of that missing piece fairly regularly, and then I cry. He was gone too soon from my life, and I am most sorry for what my children have missed. But I do think Heaven is a place where there are tears of joy. I like to think that my children met their grandfather there, that he knows them intimately, and that he is watching out for them. I hope so.
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful that you had such a close relationship with your mother-in-law. Everyone should be so lucky.