Time Out For Women

We've all benefitted from the old adage to let something rest for 24 hours before talking to someone who has annoyed us, but I would argue that the same measure can be used for something good.  For example, you can tell a book had an impact if you're still thinking of it 24, 48, or 72 hours later.  Or if a song keeps running through your head long after you've heard it.  Or if ideas from a speaker stay with you long after the speaking event has ended.  Such is the case with Time Out For Women for me.  I attended this great event last weekend with three dear friends and the ideas presented there have remained with me.  That's a true sign to me that the shared ideas were good.  So I'd like to share some of what I learned with you.

Probably my favorite speaker was Emily Watts who spoke on developing good habits (don't we so often think of habits as only bad, but she pointed out that habits can also be good and powerful).  She encouraged us to develop the following good habits:

1) Develop a thick skin:  We cannot control the tongue of another, but we can control the thickness of our own skin, so make it good and thick.  This will become especially valuable as our children enter the teenage years :).

2) Do your children the honor of expecting great (i.e. hard things) of them.

3) Think of yourself as an actual person.  Would you feed your kids leftovers from breakfast to a guest?  No - then don't feed them to yourself.  Would you tell your guest she's fat or ugly or a bad mother?  No - then don't say those things to yourself.  A Mom comfortable with herself is a better mother.

4) Catch your children doing good and making right choices.

5) Rejoice NOW - every step of the way - because if you wait until you're perfect, you'll be too darn tired to enjoy it :).

Other nuggets picked up during the conference included:
-- We learn from the scriptures that suffering alone will not save us since those who reject Christ's atonement will be allowed to suffer for their own sins, but they won't be saved in the sense that they won't be with Him.  Christ not only suffered for our sins, but He stands able and willing to TRANSFORM us into something better.  He not only saves us from future sorrow and pain, He lifts us to a higher level in life which brings greater peace and happiness.  He helps us to BECOME like Him.  So when life is difficult, we should reflect, "If He had answered me the first time I called, would I have studied as hard to find the answer or worked as hard to overcome that weakness or exercised as much faith or practiced as much patience?"  God's work is to help us to become like Him so that we may return to Him.

-- One woman talked about how her ward had five babies born in one year with severe difficulties.  All five babies passed away that same year.  But "WE GAVE AND KEPT NOTHING BACK."  I love that.  They kept nothing back.  I want to give like that.

-- One speaker spoke of his father who spent moment after moment giving unplanned service (like opening the door for someone or stopping to help a stranded motorist).  He challenged all of us to give one unplanned moment of service to one person once a day.

-- Finally, I really appreciated the speaker who counseled us to savor life instead of pushing so hard at it and to remember that it's okay to be average!

I especially appreciated these comments because we were favored with amazing musical talent during the conference.  On Friday night we listened to a woman who made first violinist with the National Symphony in Washington, D.C.  She spoke of her family life which included each of her children practicing 2-3 hours per day on a chosen instrument (the oldest was around 10).  I have to admit, I spent the first song comparing myself to her and not feeling very good about where I came out (my friend also leaned over and whispered that she felt the need to be better too).  And then I realized - I wouldn't want her life.  I would not give up my own college experience or the free time we have now as a family for her talent.  And that's okay.  She has chosen to do what feeds her spirit.  And I have chosen a more simple route that feeds mine.  And we're both great.  And with that realization, I could then truly appreciate and enjoy what she had to share with us.

I was fortunate to attend this conference.  At the end, I could hardly wait to get home and hug my family.  In fact, as I waited to exit the parking lot, my eyes filled with tears as I thought about my great husband and beautiful children and all I wanted to do was rush home to be with them.  Such is the power of feeding one's spirit - it turns us to the things that are the best in our lives and the people who mean the most to us.