7 years ago
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I Miss My Parents
I have been thinking a lot about my parents this week and wishing I were in Wyoming with them. I woke up yesterday with an ache inside from always being so far away. How wonderful to live close enough that I could drive over and pick up my Mom for lunch. Or drop by with Mary one afternoon and just hang out with her. Since I turned 18, I've never lived that close to my parents. And it's never really bothered me a lot. However, this month we found out my Dad's blood clot is still in his head with some new bleeding. And my Mom's surgery last week didn't go as well as we'd hoped meaning she won't have the complete use of her arm and recovery is much more painful than we anticipated. So while they are both still here and vibrant, I think their mortality is hitting me a bit this week. While I have them now, I won't have them for the rest of my life. And while I firmly believe I'll be with them for eternity, the gap between when they leave this life and when I join them in the next will feel long and empty once they are gone. I love my parents with all of my heart. They have always been examples of making the best of good and bad times. They raised me to stand up and be counted. I think it is significant that when my Dad was life-flighted to Montana with a severe brain bleed, he knew his name was Lewis when they asked it. It has been drilled into all of us since we were babies what it means to be a Lewis. The funny thing is I overheard Jacob telling the girls to shape up because, and I quote, "We're Lewis's!" They associate the name with strength, standing up for one's religion, being a hard worker, as well as the not-so-good qualities like being stubborn :). Oh how I wish we lived closer. Jacob asked me why we don't move. I have to admit I would love to move back to Wyoming. We'd be near my parents and my brother and his family; my kids would get to play any sport they wanted in high school as well as be on student council, etc. We'd be needed more in that ward than we are here. But then we'd be far from David's family. And we love, love, love them too. I wish the Dakotas would just disappear so the drive could be easily managed in one day. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. So I encourage all of you out there who live in the same place as your family - cherish it - cherish all of it - all the wonderful moments together as well as the times when the family are just plain annoying. Because some of us don't have the privilege of being annoyed by our family due to distance.
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I tell my sisters who live near my parents the same thing all the time. "Don't complain about it, take advantage of it!" I don't think my sisters have ever left their children overnight with anyone but my mom. They have no idea what a blessing that is! And also like you said, the ability to just drop by and hang out uninvited, that is something I miss a lot.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like such a neat man. I was giggling when I read about Jacob saying "We're Lewis's!" Sounds like he's been taught well : )
I've been away too long and had so much good stuff to catch up on.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your parents! I know exactly what you mean about realizing their mortality. I fear losing my mother all the time, and I hate living so far away. It's hard.
Your Charlotte is adorable and what a good girl! (Although I wouldn't expect anything else with you as her mother.) Sounds like your house is birthday party central in the fall like ours is. I've got to get on planning Logan's. I'm tired already!
Love your voluteer list. I've been thinking a lot lately about why I feel so inclined to volunteer in the community. A friend of mine sees no reason for it, but I think when you grow up like we did in a small town, you realize the impact people can have. That pioneer spirit of building and contributing lives in us, and that is a very good thing. Bravo to you!!!